A matter of choice…


It has been ages since I have blogged for myself. I can provide the same old, but very genuine reasons for not putting hands to keyboard… work, family, stress, more work, family etc etc etc. Recently my youngest son was diagnosed with CP so this has had an impact on family life, just in the time spent in physio and trying to do all we can for him. That said he’s responding well and his consultant recommends lots of riding which is a great thing!

So this year I have most certainly been out of the blogging loop but also very much within it as I’ve been freelance writing – so my time is very much taken up commentating about and for other people instead of pour moi. I love this work, I find it really rewarding and can quite happily sit at my desk and get lost in the world of word. I also write for a great team and although the world of media can be a pretty full on and I am really thrilled to have the opportunity to have my work published.

So that’s my work… what about the horses and life? I’ve been up against things still trying to get divorced, yes 4 years on and it’s dragging its heels. There I was in 2010 thinking it would all be done by Christmas. I could throw in a select smattering of war analogies in at this point, and to be fair sometimes it has felt pretty much like a battlefield. Safe to say, this is one battle I need to win for the sake of my children and I will not put up with the Machiavellian behaviour of my ex. Enough of this though… it is not worth the words, and this is, after all, an equine blog!

So back to the horses. It’s all about the equine non?

Wilma, my beautiful little filly is now two and has had a few growth spirts. She is now larger than her Aunt Wanda and is looking like a very promising horse for the future. Her front end has now caught up with her back end and she is looking altogether much more rideable. My plan was to take her to futurity but, true to sicknote’s form, she slashed her face very deeply a few weeks before and I was worried about her healing in time or being presented with staples! Fortunately you can’t see a scar and she was very lucky not to have caused further injury to herself. She is now regularly wearing a bridle and starting to go for long rein walks around the farm as I think she is ready to experience more of her environment.

Wilma has a lovely, if rather naïve, soul. Always first in line for cuddles and has learnt the paddock pecking order yet is not afraid to stand her ground and is by no means a wet blanket. She’s a beautiful mix of blood horse (moves like shit off a shovel), warmblood (trot to die for) and cob (inquisitive, slightly bolshie and smart and solid on her feet). I can’t wait to do more work with her next year and hope she continues in the way she has been.

Wanda is still my lifeline. As part of a massive life change we decided to move to Suffolk to live on a new farm. It’s a total oasis for the horses and children and possibly one of the best decisions I have made. It took a while to decide what was the best thing to do, not only for myself, but for my family. Sometimes, I think the build up to these things is far worse than the actual act of doing something but we all have choices, it’s a matter of making decisions and sticking with them or having a bloody superb plan B.

So this year I have made a choice not to compete much. Granted this was one decision that didn’t always sit well with me but I think it has been for the best. With one thing or another I’ve been pretty stressed and worn out. So getting up at 3am, to drive myself then event solo all day, getting home at 8pm with 3 kids to sort out really didn’t appeal any more. I felt tired before I’d even started and I don’t think this is a good way to compete, it’s no fun!

Having said that I haven’t evented, I have still had a lot of success with Wanda, qualifying for RC champs in 4 disciplines at open level and coming 5th in the DTM championships. I’ve also been hunting and realised that my little supercob is actually quite turbo charged V6 when her blood is up – never will I moan about not being able to get the time XC!

This year I have enjoyed learning more about my horse and being more disciplined in my riding at home. Sure it’s frustrating not competing every weekend but if time and money don’t allow there is no point getting upset about it and particularly no point in worrying what other people think and in some cases what they have said. It has taken me all year to realise this…

So it’s back to choices again… as Yoda said ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’

But 2016 will be back to lots of doing … and I can’t bloody wait!

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